Little Red Ranko Hood
by TuxedoCallisto
Summary: A farie tale.... Ranma style.


Tuxedo Callisto's Totally Screwed Up Anime Farie Tales  
  
Hello there! I got the idea to write this series after reading Happostiltskin. It encouraged me to write a bunch of farie tales with an anime twist. I hope you enjoy this story. It'll be in script format. I'll have more of these type of stories at later dates. On with the fic.  
  
Little Red Ranko Hood: A Ranma 1/2 farie tale.  
  
Standard disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. I don't know who wrote little red riding hood, but it wasn't me. So don't sue me. You can't get blood out of a turnip ya know.  
  
Cast Ranma-chan-------------------------Red Ranko Hood Tatewaki Kuno---------------------Big Bad Wolf Grandmother------------------------Cologne Mother-------------------------------Nodoka Ryoga Hibiki------------------------The Wandering Woodsman  
  
_______________________________________________________________________ SCENE 1: A CABIN IN THE FOREST _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Narrator: Once upon a time, their lived a girl named Ranko from the forests  
  
of Japan. She lived with her mother, Nadoka, in a small cabin in the forest. She was 16, and a very attractive young girl. Once a week, her mother would  
  
send her with a basket of baked goods to visit her her grandmother, Cologne.  
  
Nodoka: Ranko, I've prepared a basket of baked goods. Would you please take  
  
it to your grandmother and visit with her for awhile.  
  
Ranko: Yeah. Sure mom. But I still don't see why I have to go visit with the old ghoul every week. All she ever does is try to marry me off to Shampoo. I also don't see why I have to wear this stupid dress. I'm a guy!  
  
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Author: Whoa! Ranma, get with the program. You're running off script. This isn't Ranma 1/2, it's Little Red Ranko Hood. Besides, Shampoo isn't even in  
  
this story.  
  
Ranma-chan: Well, I still don't like wearing this dress. I'm a guy!  
  
Author: Not in this story your not.  
  
Ranma-chan: Even so, I'm still not wearing the dress. I won't go any further until I get a few re-writes here. I also have a funny feelimg that the only  
  
reason the old ghoul agreed to be in this story, was to find some way to trick me into marrying Shampoo.  
  
Author: I told you she's not even in this story.  
  
(As if on cue, Shampoo runs up and hugs onto Ranma.)  
  
Shampoo: Nihao, Ranma! You want take Shampoo to date?  
  
Ranma-chan: No! Get offa me already!  
  
(Suddenly, a lasso wraps around Shampoo, and drags her off.)  
  
Ranma-chan: I thought you said she wasn't in this story.  
  
Author: Sorry 'bout that. O.k., let's compromise. You do the story my way, by my rules, and you won't have to wear the dress.  
  
Ranma-chan: Oh, alright.  
  
(As if by magic, Ranma-chan's clothes change from the red dress with the hood, to a more familiar chinese shirt and drawstring pants.)  
  
Ranma-chan: That's better.  
  
Author: Now, let's get back to the story no more interruptions. At least I hope so. Let's move on to seen two.  
  
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_______________________________________________________________________ SCENE 2: THE FOREST _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Narrator: Ranko skipped along the path. She remembered what her mother told  
  
her about looking out for that nasty wolf that's been prowling around. Several teenage girls had disappeard and the wolf had been blamed for it. Ranko never believed what any told her about the wolf. She thought they were just stories told by adults and teenage boys to scare little children and teenage girls. She just figured that the missing girls either got lost or they ran away from home. Ranko then decided to stop skipping and walk the rest of the way.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________ SCENE 3: A HIGH HILL OVERLOOKING THE PATH IN THE FOREST _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Narrator: Tatewaki Kuno was practicing his kendo as he usually did every day at this time. He always practiced at this spot. So he could spot worthy opponents walking along the path. Kuno paused in his kendo practice and looked out unto the path. His eyes locked onto the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.  
  
Kuno: Who is that fare maiden? Bursting with fire and healthy beauty. I must get aquainted with this........venus........this.........pig-tailed goddess. Indeed I am the only one worthy of her personage.  
  
Narrator: Kuno decided to follow her, and make a grand entrance when the time was right.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________ SCENE 4: THE FOREST _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Narrator: As Ranko was walking she kept getting the strangest feeling that she was being followed. She spotted her friend the wandering woodsman. He was at the side of the path, chopping wood with his bare hand like he usually did.  
  
Ranko: Well if it isn't the wandering man of the woods. Hiya Mr. P! Did you  
  
get lost again? Maybe you should get a compass. Wouldn't help much though.  
  
Woodsman: (Getting really angry) Ranma! Today's the day you die!!!  
  
(As Ryoga leaps at Ranma-chan, but is stopped by a giant hand in front of him.)  
  
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Author: Whoa! Hold it! Ranma, I warned you about going off script.  
  
Ranma-chan: Hey! Ryoga's the one who tried to attack me!  
  
Ryoga: Well, you started it! This is all your fault!  
  
Author: He's right Ranma. Now, stop taunting Ryoga, and get on with the story. Or else...  
  
Ranma-chan: Or else what?  
  
Author: Or else I start writing cats from every anime series I can think of  
  
into this story.  
  
Ranma-chan: Since you put it that way.  
  
Author: O.k. then. No more mess ups. Oh, and Ryoga....  
  
Ryoga: Yes.  
  
Author: Sorry about you smacking into my hand.  
  
Ryoga: Oh, that's o.k.  
  
Author: Let's take this scene from where Ranko spotted the wandering woodsman.  
  
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Ranko: Hello, Mr. Woodsman.  
  
Woodsman: Oh, hello. Are you off to visit your grandmother again?  
  
Ranko: Yeah. She gets lonely living in that cabin just to the north of here.  
  
Woodsman: Well, watch out for the wolf.  
  
Ranko: Yeah right. Like I'd actually believe that story about a viscious wolf in the woods. I've never seen any kinda wolf in these woods before. And I've lived here all my life.  
  
Narrator: As Ranko and the woodsman talked, Kuno began to get an idea in his head. He raced ahead using the shortcut to Cologne's house. There he would greet the pig-tailed girl. Luck was on his side today. He found a note on the door for Ranko saying that she was visiting friends today and would n't be back until evening.  
  
Kuno: Yes! The gods have smiled upon me this day. Now my beloved and I shall be alone together.  
  
Narrator: Kuno opened the door, and went inside. He waited for his beloved's arrival. Meanwhile, Ranko had finished talking to the woodsman, and she finally got to her grandmother's house.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________ SCENE 5: COLOGNE'S CABIN _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Narrator: When Ranko got inside the cabin, she noted that something felt different.  
  
Ranko: Yo! Old g.......er, I mean grandmother. Are you in here?  
  
Narrator: Suddenly, a single rose flew at Ranko. She caught it and looked at it strangely.  
  
Kuno: An unearthlier happy is the rose distilled, than that which withering  
  
on the virgin thorn grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness. It is I Tatewaki Kuno. Blue Thunder of Furinkan forest, who stands before you.  
  
Ranko:.............  
  
Kuno: At last we are together my love. Indeed, thy beauty doth stun me. Come, let us date. Then we shall live together happily ever after.  
  
Narrator: Kuno bolted towards Ranko. Ranko screamed and ran. He continued to pursue. Ranko soon learned that not all wolves ran on four legs.  
  
Kuno: My love, why do you run from me? Can't you see that we are meant to be?  
  
Narrator: At that moment Cologne pogoed in the door. She wondered what all the noise and screaming was about.  
  
Cologne: What's going on here?  
  
Narrator: Suddenly, a large crash and water splashing is heard coming from the kitchen. Ranko had collided into the hot water heater. She was splashed  
  
and instantly turned into Ranma.  
  
Kuno: Ranma Saotome you fiend! What have you done with the pig-tailed girl?!  
  
Narrator: Suddenly, a maniacally laughing girl appears.  
  
Kodachi: Ohohohohohohohohohohohoh! Ranma darling!  
  
Narrator: Kodachi hugs onto Ranma all the while expressing her love for him  
  
and how she would never let him go. All of a sudden a huge mallet appears out off nowhere aimed directly at Ranma.  
  
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!!!  
  
Narrator: The mallet hits Ranma knocking Kodachi lose and Akane drags a dazed Ranma back to the Tendo Dojo by his pig-tail.  
  
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Author: I should have known this was going to happen. Oh well, that's what I get for using such unpredictable characters to do a farie tale. I'll have to use another series for my next one. I wonder what Tenchi and company are doing.  
  
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THE END _______________________________________________________________________  
  
I hope you liked my first faerie tale fanfic. I've written others. As well as a few other fanfics. This is only the second one i've posted. Please feel free to send your C&C to TuxedoCallisto@.com. I have a few fanfics still on my computer. If you would like to read any just send me a request. I like getting e-mail. (my e-mail has changed due to no more aol. so the one currently posted is correct) 


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